


Cold Embrace

by DovahTobi



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Anger, Angst, Bisexual Severus Snape, Gay Gilderoy Lockhart, Grief, Kissing, M/M, Snockhart, i cant believe i wrote this, i don't even know why i wrote this, idk - Freeform, losing the one you love, well one kiss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-08
Updated: 2020-08-08
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:47:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25780828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DovahTobi/pseuds/DovahTobi
Summary: Gilderoy Lockhart has disappeared into the Chamber of Secrets, and his boyfriend is about to lose everything again.
Relationships: Gilderoy Lockhart/Severus Snape
Comments: 22
Kudos: 43





	Cold Embrace

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks a lot to WoodenSuitcase, and Sith and Elli, and everyone in my Shifting Lines discord server encouraging me to fall down this rabbit hole, and Felix for showing us this rabbit hole  
> I don't know. I really don't know. Why did I write this? Just... why?

_Don't cut me down, throw me out, leave me here to waste_

_I once was a man with dignity and grace_

_Now I'm slipping through the cracks of your cold embrace_

_So please, please_

_\- Let Me Down Slowly, Alec Benjamin_

*

Severus paced in his office, hands curling and uncurling as he resisted the urge to go after them himself. He didn’t know _where_ they were, just that they had gone. It wasn’t _like_ him, though. It wasn’t… he was a coward. Severus knew this, and accepted it—so _why_ had they gone?

Severus stopped and looked at the clock. They had been missing for ages now. All for that stupid Weasley girl.

He swore under his breath and left his office, unable to keep still. He wished he knew where the Chamber was. He wished he knew Gilderoy had left, so he could have _stopped_ him.

He went by the Defense office again for lack of anything better to do (besides worry), and cast an angry gaze around the room. Gilderoy’s trunk haphazardly packed, robes and books scattered everywhere. He picked up one of the peacock blue robes, a waft of lilacs rising as the silk slid through his fingers. He recalled the last time Gilderoy had worn these robes, and the silk had slid through his fingers that time, thrown to the floor without another thought as they tumbled into bed together.

A movement caught his eye. A painting of Gilderoy. It had been empty the last time Severus came into the office however now he saw a flash of blonde hair and periwinkle blue eyes peering out the side.

“Gilderoy?” Severus asked.

“Severus,” the painting said, stepping into view, hands clutched to his apricot scarf. “I was worried it was one of them again.”

“Where did you—I mean, the _real_ you—go?” Severus demanded, stepping closer to the painting. “You didn’t go to the Chamber, did you?”

The painting sniffled loudly. “It was those boys,” he whimpered. “They attacked me! The real me, as you continuously insist on calling him. Threw my wand out that window.” He pointed at an open window and Severus ran over, bending out to look. They were a few flights up from the grounds and he couldn’t see anything.

“Accio wand,” Severus said, flicking his own. A second later Gilderoy’s wand came shooting through the window; Severus caught it, clenching the wood tightly. “Gilderoy…” He slowly turned back to the painting. “ _What_ boys?”

*

“Albus. _Albus_!” Severus pounded on his office door. “I know you’re in there. I know you’re back! I need to talk to you. About—about what’s going on.”

The door creaked open and the headmaster stepped out, face grave. “I’m sorry, Severus, I cannot talk to you right now. Molly and Arthur have just arrived. They’re waiting down in Minerva’s office, I must go speak with them—”

“They went to the Chamber.”

Albus raised his eyebrows. “Who?”

“Potter and Weasley. They took—they took Gilderoy with them.” He tried to keep his voice neutral, not let his rage or emotions show.

“Why would they do that?” Albus frowned though he didn’t look too surprised.

Severus narrowed his eyes. He knew Albus usually had something up his sleeve. “To look for Ginny Weasley, I am assuming. The fact of the matter is they forced Gilderoy Lockhart to go with them—”

“Now, how did they do that? Two second year boys, forcing a grown wizard?”

“Threatened him,” Severus said, his patience—or rather, what little of it remained—wearing very thin. “Do you have any idea where the Chamber is?”

“Surely you’re not going to go _after_ them,” Albus said, sweeping past Severus, forcing him to walk alongside with him in order to continue talking. “I believe you repaid the debt to James Potter last year. You wish to save his life again?”

Severus’s nostrils flared. “This has nothing with that. They are down in the Chamber. Gil—they could die, alongside the Weasley girl.”

Albus stopped in his tracks, turning to face Severus. “Are you telling me I need to inform Molly and Arthur _both_ their youngest children are dead?”

Severus opened and then closed his mouth. Of course Albus would only be concerned about the children. “I’m merely telling you what has happened, so we can—”

“Thank you, Severus. Now, I have no idea where the Chamber may be, and surely none of them do. They are probably wandering around somewhere. Unless you are certain—”

“Potter told Gilderoy that he knew where the entrance was, before they left,” Severus said, voice rising with aggravation.

Albus pinned him with his gaze. “Where have you gotten this information?”

“One of Gilderoy’s paintings, in his office.”

“I see. Again, thank you for letting me know. I’ll look into it after I’ve spoken with the Weasleys.”

Severus watched Albus go, bitterness filling his heart. Albus probably had no intention of looking into it. No, that was a lie. He’d go after _Potter_. Save the precious prophecy child.

Severus turned and stormed down the halls, no idea where to go. He went back to the Defense Against the Dark Arts office and began questioning paintings nearby. The few that remained in their frames admitted they saw Gilderoy with the two boys, and did their best to point Severus in the right direction however it didn’t take long for him to lose the trail. He had nowhere to go, nowhere to even begin looking. The entrance to the Chamber could be in a thousand places!

 _Think_ , he told himself, pacing down a dark corridor. _You can figure this out_.

But all he could think of was Gilderoy, being forced down into the Chamber with the monster, without even his wand to protect him—not that it’d do much good even if he did, unless all he wanted to do was erase the monster’s memory.

Severus remembered when Gilderoy told him everything, during a big argument shortly before getting together. Gilderoy had thrown something and collapsed into Severus’s arm as he did his best to console the blonde. _He_ didn’t care that Gilderoy was a charlatan. He pretty much knew it already. Actually, it was rather… _thrilling_ knowing Gilderoy just stole others’ stories for himself. The sheer arrogance and disregard for others just to inflate your own reputation and fame. It was… disgusting… in a fascinating way…

Besides, Severus knew all about lying and falsehoods to preserve one’s image.

“But _where_ is the _entrance_ ?” he hissed out, returning to the present moment, and the reality that Gilderoy was probably lost to him forever. He couldn’t be… _I can’t lose another,_ he thought, feeling the urge to just start blasting through walls in an attempt to find the Chamber.

He stalked down the corridor, fitfully tugging at his robes, searching through every corner of his brain for an answer when he heard some shouts. He glanced up, lips curling back in a sneer as he heard Pomona and Filius squawking about something. He did not want to deal with them.

He turned to head in the opposite direction when he heard Potter’s name. Severus hesitated, since they did not sound devastated. Then he heard another word.

 _Returned_.

“What?”

Severus rushed down the corridor, and Pomona and Filius both looked eagerly at him. “Didn’t you hear? Harry Potter’s brought Ginny Weasley back from the Chamber!” Filius squeaked.

“And—the others? That were with him?”

“You mean Ron Weasley, and Professor Lockhart?” Pomona asked.

Severus tried not to yell at her. “ _Yes_.”

“They’re back too.”

Severus didn’t wait for another response, he just took off down the halls. He remembered Albus had gone to Minerva’s office and began to head that way when he was nearly knocked over by someone.

“Watch it!” snarled a familiar voice.

Severus glared as Lucius Malfoy practically ran down the corridor with one of his house-elves in tow. He was obviously heading towards Minerva’s office as well, and burst through the door. He heard Albus greet him, and Lucius reply about coming back. He couldn’t hear any other voices…

 _Perhaps not there_ , he thought, doubting Albus would let Lucius talk like that in front of three students and the Weasleys… besides, he knew damn well Arthur Weasley would have had a fit if Lucius came in.

Severus backtracked, and began heading towards the hospital wing. If they weren’t with Albus, they’d be in there.

He shoved the doors open, eyes sweeping the room. He saw Mr. and Mrs. Weasley along with their idiot son and insipid daughter. Poppy Pomfrey was at another bed, where Gilderoy was sitting, covered in disgusting slime and goop.

Severus let out a slight sigh and went over. He didn’t want to say anything in front of everyone else in the room.

“I need to speak to Gilderoy privately,” he told Poppy and without waiting for a response he took Gilderoy’s arm and pulled him into Madame Pomfrey’s office. He slammed the door shut and put a silencing spell, so nobody could listen in.

He turned, eyes locking onto Gilderoy’s wide ones.

“Hello,” Gilderoy said pleasantly, as if he had come back from an afternoon stroll.

“Gilderoy…” Severus took a step forward, knees shaking at the fact he was _alive_. He thought he might collapse into Gilderoy’s arms with relief.

Gilderoy gave a faint frown, tipping his head. “Gilderoy?” he asked. “Is that my name?”

Severus froze, heart leaping into his throat. “Wh… what?”

“My name,” Gilderoy said again. “Is that my name? I don’t remember.”

“You… don’t… remember your name?” Severus didn’t understand what was going on.

“Alas, no,” sighed Gilderoy, flipping his mucky hair back. “Someone said I was a _Professor_ ! Hah! Can you imagine me as a _Professor_! Ahhh… I’m sorry, though, who are you?”

Severus wrapped an arm around his stomach, hardly able to breathe as Gilderoy’s words filled his brain. “Gilderoy. It’s me.”

“Me? Is that your name?”

“ _Gil_!” Severus grabbed his arms, shaking him slightly. “Look at me, you know—you know me!”

Gilderoy just smiled up at him. “I’m afraid I don’t, my good man. That nice lady out there told me my memory’s gone. If we’ve met before—why, I simply don’t remember.”

Severus stared into his eyes, chest constricting and aching. He dug his fingers into Gilderoy’s arms, probably too hard; Gilderoy winced slightly.

“ _Gilderoy_!”

“Yes?”

Severus searched his face, searching for any recognition. Gilderoy continued to smile up at him with a blank expression in his eyes.

“What happened?” he whispered and then wrapped his arms around Gilderoy, holding him close. “What the hell happened to you?”

“Hugs are nice!” Gilderoy said, and hugged back. There was no emotion in it, not the way he used to. Not the tight clinging that used to fill Gilderoy’s arms; no desperation, no desire. It was cold, all the heat and fervor he used to feel from Gilderoy’s embrace gone. “It’s all right, whatever’s wrong will turn out okay. I’m sure of it!”

Severus buried his face into Gilderoy’s shoulder, nails digging into his back. “No. Please, no…”

Gilderoy awkwardly pat Severus’s head. “Sorry to be a downer, my dear man, but you are hurting me. And my clothes are filthy. You don’t want to get covered in filth.” There was a hint of irritation in his voice and the meaning was clear: he didn’t want Severus holding onto him like this.

Slowly Severus let go, stepping back. The muck was all over the front of his clothes and his arms but he didn’t care. He just stared at Gilderoy, confused and angry. Then furious. Then absolute rage.

“What’s the last thing you remember?” he demanded, reaching up to stroke Gilderoy's hair, fingers slipping into the slime. He raked his fingers through, resisting the urge to clench his hair and pull Gilderoy to him once more.

“Ah, I know this!” Gilderoy said, sticking a finger in the air as Severus’s hand fell away. “You hugged me!”

“Nothing… before that? You said someone called you a professor?”

“Yes, earlier. There was an old chap with a long beard. And the boy with the sword. And the redhead.”

“A boy with a sword…”

“Yes, and the redhead, he’s a sweet kid. He was with me in the dark.” Gilderoy then frowned, rubbing his chin. “He was rather upset, though, and kept moving rocks around.”

Severus slowly shook his head. None of it made sense. This wasn’t even a regular obliviation. Gilderoy had totally lost his mind, everything! A total wipe. Like… the obliviation spell times a hundred.

Or used by a child who didn’t know what they were doing.

Potter was powerful enough to do something like that.

“The boy with the sword...” That could only be Potter. "Did he—"

“He _definitely_ had a sword,” Gilderoy said with a nod, cutting Severus off. "It was quite impressive and fancy! There was this big bird too!"

Severus shook his head, stepping closer, fingers now trailing along Gilderoy's cheek. “Did… did he do something to—”

He was cut off by someone knocking at the door. It was Poppy, needing Gilderoy. Severus glared at the door then took hold of Gilderoy’s sleeve, pulling him against him. One more try at bringing the man he loved back.

“Please,” he whispered into Gilderoy’s ear, breath rolling across his neck.

“Oh my!”

“Please tell me you remember this.”

He placed his lips against Gilderoy’s lips, pressing hard. He clutched at the younger man, holding him tight as they kissed, as intense and as passionate as he could muster. His eyes shut, mostly because he couldn’t bear to look into those empty eyes… so he could pretend that everything was all right…

Then he pulled away, panting a bit. He kept his eyes shut, not daring to look, waiting with terrifying anticipation for a response.

“Well,” Gilderoy said, “how interesting.”

It felt as though someone had sent the blasting curse to his chest.

He wasn’t sure if he was sadder than he was angry, or angrier than he was sad. It was a deep anguish that took him back to Godric’s Hollow in 1981… the last time someone was taken from his life...

Severus swore and then turned, using a quick spell to remove the filth from his clothes and face before unlocking the door. Poppy came in, a rather curious look on her face. “What was going on?”

“Albus… send me to see if Gilderoy could remember anything,” Severus said, clenching his teeth.

Poppy clucked her tongue, brushing past him. “I’m afraid it seems the spell was too damaging.”

“Spell,” Severus said slowly. “What happened?”

Another figure appeared in the doorway. Minerva. “Severus, there you are, I’ve been looking for you. Come with me.”

“Minerva, Albus told me to stay with Gilderoy—”

“Actually, I’ll be taking him to Saint Mungo’s,” Poppy said.

Severus took a step back, a jolt running through his entire body. “Saint Mungo’s?”

“Yes. There is nothing I can do,” Poppy explained, putting a hand on Gilderoy’s arm. He was humming, rocking back and forth, looking vaguely amused. Severus wondered if he even remembered the kiss from less than a minute ago. “Hopefully Saint Mungo’s will be able to help him. Come with me.”

“Me?” Gilderoy asked.

“Yes.”

Severus reached out, fingers discreetly brushing against Gilderoy’s fingers as they passed. “Lockhart,” Severus said, then swallowed. “Gilderoy…”

Gilderoy looked at him. “Yes?”

But what could he say with the two witches there? “Nothing.”

Gilderoy nodded. “Right-o. Have a good night!”

Severus watched him go, feeling adrift. What if Gilderoy never got his memories back? What if he was forever… like that? What if this was it?

Severus thought back to when he lost Lily, and the pain and hell he went through. However she had never loved him back, not in the way he wanted or desired. Gilderoy… had loved him back. The only person in his life to do so, and now he was happily striding away from Severus and the possible life they could have had together; hidden, yes, but still, a life together.

Severus tried his best to remain standing, to keep his face as empty as he felt on the inside, not even listening to Minerva talking to him about what needed to be done to get the castle ready for a celebration.

He was alone, again.


End file.
